narrow stress

today chruch sermon was reali great...the sermon reali impacted my life and thought...i felt i being naif in everything i do...i being stupid for wat i am now...i felt tuff everytime i reflect bck..

i knw it over and is past...i could not go bck whr i came from....i nid to move on but how can i strive it thru..i nid alot of STRENGHT and POWER to work tis out...i am reali frustrated of myself for being so so attitude and for being so rely on frenz....i am so stupid and naif....huh....

i am upset,frustrated and fed up with myself...i being so so immature in my past..i cry and cry whn i reflect it..i felt a heavy rock just pressure me and i try to remove but i just could not.....i dunno why and i dunno how to do it so....i ask for help but thr is no one...i am alone and i lost sense of security and sense of direction...

i am totally lost....i try to wake up but i just could not i felt of fallin off the step stone....i am scare to love, to care, to concern, and etc..i just dun wan to do thing and make thing rite...i seem to run away from everything if i reali can....i starting to hate myself again and i knw it not rite....but i dunno....i am totally being process but evil sprit...i try to fight for it....i pray tat God will with me....and i knw HE is thr but i just nid to work thing out....

WHAT CAN I REALI DO???

I AM REFLECTING MYSELF.....

CHEE CHEONG.....

PAUL....

ROBIN.....

STUDIES...

FAMILY AND LIFE.....

I AM LOST NOW....

I DUNNO WHICH DIRECTION.....

bday preparation for sum1...

it had been so long i did not update it...bad bad bad.....

i had shifted from my old place to a new place and there is no internet access...

i am reali so sorry for not kip updating...here i am updatin abt myself and past thing happen...sweet thing in me had ended with a stupid reason he gave me..at time i reali fed up myself i dun felt like think and facing...i felt like slp it thru and hide it thru but i knw it is impossible to do so....

i end with him on my mom bday and i reali upset...thing happen all sudden i knw i nid to get prepared of it but i could not....i tot i am strong but i am sorry i am not....

i live it thru cis God still concern me and frenz are still care for me.... but i knw i will not b my past strong cos i had wen thru alot and this time another time....i am fragile in love..i scared to love,to care and etc..i am reali fragile for now...i dun dare to do anything for now....

i had prepare a bday surprise for kabi...but aprt of it does not sucess...haih..i am sad of it and i reali upset....i could b come a good planner....thru out the planning i felt tuff cos i actually reali lost...in the middle of preparation on thrusday i got little conflict between my hsemate...we does not fight but she just being to comfortable to throw temper on me...i am being too kind and stupid to let it had happen...i realise it getting worst now...i try to run from thing and try to hide but i knw it can last long..i am prayin thru cos i reali dunno wat can i do to clear it all....

i am glad he is hapi n i am try my best to give wat i can....once again hapi bday....

~you are da best kabi...not nid to say thks...but is reali a blessin...i shud say sorry for not doin tat good...~