worthless day i had....

time past and now 2008 going to end soon...to reli look back all this years wat i had done??have i done my job as a great daughter in the family??have i been obedient all this while??had i listen to wat my parent say??had i reli obey them??well all this question surely popping up in mind...so wat had u reli done..being a youngest in the family i felt difficult..even thou to everyone sound like cool and nice cos the youngest surely very manja de lo...but as for me??do i reli manja..i felt i am so unlucky to be a youngest in this family...why??i had been blame seen i am small..all the household things tat spoil all mistake tat had been done by sibling and etc...i just felt ouches because it is reli a pain of it..whn was form 4 and 5 i alwiz told my ex i wan faster be out of this house...but guess wat i relize in life now to be out or at home is still the same..why??whn i am out from house and far apart from family i just felt i am alwiz been put in a blame i reli did not know why.i just felt sad and hurtful whn it happen..eventhou i does miss my family but reli think back wat happen reli is a pain..come out from the house is just a painkiller for me..hmm..sumtime i think if i does not exist in this world it will way better for each and everyone lives in this place rite...hmm..i reli felt so so difficult with things happen around..ppl seem like dislike me i did not knw why and can sum1 tell me of it..i reli wan to knw wat its the reason..tell truth i do care and concern for u all...wat had happen this few days i relize the person i like at 1st few moment he reli treat me in a way tat i did not expect but now wat happen..are we far apart??i can say i guesss i just felt so different from wat had happen b4..i reli hope he could continue but why its stop at this moment itself..i hate myself so much..i reli hope i had chance to asks him why he treat me like this...i reli do want to ask him...but i knw i dun hav the braveness cos he even did not know i love him..to love a person tat he did not knw tat u love him is reli is a pain in heart and being a stupid to love, care, concern a person is wat i had done in my life all this while...i just wonder why i sacrifice to do this just for him..whn relise he treat ppl better is just hurtin urself and whn see or saw wat he had done to other gal is just a discouragement in life...will i had nvr meet sum1 tat reli meet nearly all my requirement..and i had been praying for this for every long moment..i did not knw wat HE goin to do with this ut i knw sumthing nice and sumthing tat he will not disappoint me...so i will keep wait till HE sow me wat it all about...i reli do pray for this relationship to happen...cause i do reli loves day by day!!